Sunday, October 30, 2011

define mother

mother is defined as a female parent
our society defines mother as the person who gave birth to the child in question
we see mother as someone who cooks, cleans, and cares for the child
the mother raises the child while the father ensures that the family has what it needs

in our family there are two mothers - one biological and one (me) not so biological
in our family mommy stays home and cares for our children - she feeds them and nurses them and holds them when they are sad - she sings to them and reads to them and tickles them
in our family mama goes to work each day and tries to change the lives of others in order to provide for these little ones
in our family mama is just as much a mother as mommy is

we work together
are on the same page
have the same morals and beliefs about what it is we want to instil upon our children
we are partners
and we are a team

no matter how mother is defined by others mama will always be someone who works every day in order to provide every opportunity to her boys - someone who looks forward to holding them during their evening bottle and loves the way they smell after bath time - someone who can't wait to make baby food from scratch - someone who hears her boys cry and their little voices saying "mama mama" even though it means nothing and is just the sound they make...

...mama...mommy...we both live here...and both do our part raising these boys
i know so many other mommy/mama families who struggle to find a place for the non-biological mother...they feel possessive of the child when they have a biological attachment - they feel like the non-bio parent acts like a babysitter - so they treat them like a babysitter - they wonder why the other parent is not bonded but so often it's that parent who is working day and night to support the family and keep the wheels turning - they see the "other-mother" as not actually the mother at all...but don't have the words to say it. matter what you call it or our biological attachment we both live here...and both do our part raising these boys

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