DTaP

oy...so today is the DTap allergy visit...the boys cannot get the DTaP (diphtheria, tetanus, pertussis) vaccine in the doctor's office...you know a regular shot to the thigh like they do for all their other shots.
donor #5508 was so similar to me in so many ways - he has brown curly hair and dark brown eyes, he has a sweet smile and has ambitions included non-profit management and a degree in social work to with disadvantaged peoples. all of these are attributes in myself that i value and wanted to pass on to a child. as i was not going to have a biological relationship with the child we searched for someone with many of my traits. never in a million years did we intend to pass along my severe allergy to the P part of the DTap. when i was a child and received my first dose of DTaP i spiked an incredibly high fever and my parents had to keep me in a tub of cool water in order to reduce my risk for febrile seizures. upon reading the full medical history for #5508 we discovered that ironically he was allergic to the P in DTaP and when he received his first dose of the vaccine as an infant was hospitalized. this changed our entire outlook on the vaccine as a whole. we wanted the boys to have DTa but not P...we discussed it with dr. fitzsimmons and she was really insistent that the boys get the vaccine which we did know was incredibly important we just were not comfortable with the possible consequences. we discussed sending the boys to an allergist at UNC in order to administer the vaccine at a slow rate in order to monitor symptoms of allergy in a controlled setting.
needless to say we agreed and today the boys are sitting with mommy and lil' grandma at UNC. mommy gets no service inside the clinic so i have no clue what the progress is. she will call if anything goes wrong...
just got a text that the boys are being given a test shot and then watched for 30 minutes and then given the whole shot. so...i am holding my little loves (all 3 of them, mommy included) in the light and hoping this day gets no more eventful then it already is.

dear c & j
i'm sorry that you have to endure this day.
i know it is no fun and that tomorrow you will probably be cranky and sleepy.
i know it's hard to understand now but getting vaccines saves lives - not only your lives but the lives of others whose parents choose not to vaccinate their children.
i love you both with all my heart and look forward to holding you this afternoon.
we'll go for a walk in our new, rockin', orange stroller
maybe we'll take mommy and tyler out to the trails and we can all go for a walk. we'll bring some snacks and maybe have a picnic...

sleep well this afternoon
and i promise - tonight you are all mine!