and they're off... - posted september 14, 2010
so after 14 months we’re in the thick of ivf. with 3 injections a day and blood tests every day it seems overwhelming at first but things are good. today we went back for and estrogen check because yesterdays was insanely high – 500something when it should have been around 100something. soooo…we learn that there was a miscommunication with the doctors about the right dosage and 300 total units of meds not 300 units of follistim. oops. i heard this and so thought you would freak but you didn’t and you held it together and things looked much better after the ultrasound. we’ve got about 13 or 14 strong follicles this time around which is super. just hoping we can make it to saturday before you pop. in other news…yea no, no other news other than being exhausted! good grief i don’t know if i’m fighting something or what but i feel absolutely done at the end of the day. it’s ridiculous. last night we were asleep by 10:30 but again up at 6:15 to be at the hospital by 7:15 and done by 8. oof! but got some things done this morning. now 3 session notes to write by the end of the day and fifty thousand other things to get done.
here goes... - posted september 24, 2010
egg retrieval is most likely sunday…(yea i know kind of an abrupt start to this here blog) but what can ya do…i’m so ready to see those little fertilized embryos and then get you pregnant! finally finally we’re closer than i’ve ever felt like we’ve been before…we are so close! i’m nervous about the progesterone shots! that’s making me a bit nervous. it’s interesting to think about the things other women doing ivf do and that we’re doing this because well…there’s no man involved but that most people are doing this because they are infertile or having major major problems getting pregnant. so while we have finally found ourselves here in the middle of ivf – something we swore up and down we’d never do – we are still light years ahead of where most people are when they start ivf. you have no trouble ovulating, we have good (great) sperm and there’s nothing wrong with your uterus…so uh yea, why are we worried again?i do know i’m so tired it’s not even funny. i can’t think straight let alone get through today without sitting and staring at a kid blankly doing nothing. before the day is out (meaning at 3:55pm because that is the only free 5 minutes i have today) i will get more caffeine in my body. i will likely begin fading around 2pm mid session with JB. this is what happens when you’re working with a non-energetic client. you fade. especially since last week he wouldn’t stop yawning. arg!
the next three weeks of waiting for transfer and then waiting for 14 days post transfer are going to be so so so tedious! holy crap! seriously! i don’t know how i’m going to make it through those two weeks without going stir crazy. here’s to hoping we find ways of occupying ourselves and staying sane…oy vey!
waiting game - posted september 26, 2010
i say that because i’m sitting here as we speak in the doctor’s office waiting for them to retrieve eggs. goodness who ever thought we’d be here…it’s weird to be sitting out here in the waiting room just waiting…i feel lost in a hospital by myself. i got a breakfast that i hated and made me sick which i knew it would but i didn’t have the ability to say no or make a different choice. i’ll go back in a few minutes and get you something other than what i got you to eat after you wake up. this whole process feels slightly weird and medical in nature and sometimes i wish that it didn’t.
pride was yesterday and as prides go it was good although there always seems to be an argument associated with pride and that’s frustrating. i know it feels like we’re bickering a lot right now but there’s just so much that’s going on and i feel completely overwhelmed with work. and i don’t know how to ask for help…worried that if i ask you won’t have the time and then there’s no reason to have asked in the first place…
it’s weird to be sitting here waiting while all these other people are waiting around me…not sure they understand why i’m here.
day 5-ish - posted october 4, 2010
5 days after a 3 day transfer…just waiting and praying…i can’t believe we’ll know in just a few short days…i can’t wait!
to the wind... - posted october 5, 2010
yes that’s right…all caution has been thrown to the wind and with 2 8cell embryos inside you and 2 5day blastos in the freezer all bets are off and i’m just excited now (secretly i looked up an estimated due date calculator specifically for IVF…)sunday here we come
symptom-ish - posted october 7, 2010
hmm…could it be? or is it just that nasty progesterone faking every little symptom? grr…i want to know i want to know i want to know…you think tomorrow could be sunday? uhg waiting another 3 days is crazy! we’re 8days after a 3day transfer which is theoretically 11 days…that’s not nearly enough to take a preggo test. sunday is day 14 so i guess that’s just what we’re going to have to wait for.very difficult to be productive today…oof
the wait is... - posted october 7 , 2010
killing me!i want to know now! i love you so much and i am so so SO freakin ready for this.
it is our time!
this waiting is not doing anything for my productivity…ooh man!
dreaming - posted october 7, 2010
i want to start dreaming of nursery rooms and cribs and my baby jogger and car seats and i want to dream about clothes and what we’ll take you home from the hospital wearing. i want to dream about you with your name…what will it be? i want to dream about what you’ll look like and i want to dream about holding you in my arms. i won’t allow myself to dream too much until i know you are really really there…while i believe our time has come and that you are truly of this world you know me and numbers and science…i need to see it or hear it in order to confirm my belief…oh but i am so ready for you little one…so readyprego! - posted october 10, 2010
wow! positive test on friday night – faint faint line read after the allotted 10 minutes so we took that with a grain of salt…6am this morning test immediately showed up positive. i mean as soon as she peed on it basically! first beta came back at 307 which is awesome. we go back tuesday for another beta and then we wait for our 6 week ultrasound!deep breaths!
insanely amazing
bought a book about how to be a father…hee hee
two hundred and fourth three - posted october 19, 2010
days and countingthat’s how long i have to wait until i meet you
you and your beautiful smile and your gorgeous eyes
and yes likely your jewish nose
i wonder about what your face will look like and whose eyes you’ll have
hopefully hers because they’re wonderful to loose yourself in
i wonder what you’ll be like…and whether you’ll like to sleep or not
i wonder if you’ll be allergic to anything and how you’ll feel sleeping against my skin on your first day in this world
i dream about you all the time
and cannot wait to meet you
243 days and counting
oh we're waiting - posted october 21, 2010
and waiting and waiting for the ultrasound so we can see you little nut. it’s so hard to wait but i know there are so many amazing things we get to do over the next 8 months
i will enjoy watching your body change and become beautifully pregnant. i will enjoy watching the seasons change as we get closer to june
i know you fear loosing this child but there is nothing our love for each other cannot do – and we will be so blessed by this child.
breathe deep and relax…enjoy the smaller days of pregnancy before you loose sight of your feet
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| Embyro #1 |
